Friday, August 03, 2007

so apparently

nobody reads this but me! lol. I guess my ramblings and odd pictures don't warrent an audience. Yeah, well I'll get over it.

We've been busy here, isn't that always the case? Had Ron's birthday party yesterday, lots of fun had by all. Gearing up for my niece's party next weekend. Had to recheck her birthday gifts because of the dumb Fisher Price recall. Yesh! Kids' toys no less.

I'm getting psyched up for my anniversary and birthday. So not sure how I feel about turning 30. On one hand I feel like I'm there already. On the other that's pretty grown up and I don't know that this is how I wanted my life to be by this time. Not sure if I want to say, yup done with having more kids, this is the career I wanted, we're just trucking along. Or do I want to go in another direction, possibly more kids (my mom would just be shaking her head at this point) do I really want to stay in the school for the rest of my life? I mean the pay is good, for what feels like glorified babysitting sometimes.

The whole baby thing is really at the front of my mind lately. Probably the bio-clock ticking. We were so sure, so happy to be done with the babies and diapers and all. I was enjoying how much simplier things were getting with older kids. No more babysitters anymore (for work that is) having 2 kids is easy. Ron and I tag team them with surprising agility. We are actually getting time alone, time for trips for the two of us, we can go out more (not that we always do) Do we really want to shuffle things up again? Are our finances able to handle a 3rd? There are things we want to do, trips, renovations that kind of thing. With another baby this all gets pushed aside for a very long time, possibly never to happen. I don't know how another baby would change all our family dynamics. Ethan and Abby need us especially starting school and growing up. Would we take away from them by adding another? Am I ready to deal with the job/maternity leave again? How would that affect my now job? I'm so not sure what to do.

1 comment:

Adrienne said...

Well.... I'm here. I read your blog often, sorry if I don't leave comments, but I read several every day. There are probably many lurkers. Not sure about you, but I have a blog for me, and whoever else enjoys it is just a bonus. :)

About the baby thing. Here's what I think :) Let God decide! Seriously....the work load, baby stuff, finances, your job... it all falls into place when you have a baby. I don' think you would ever regret your baby, but you might some day regret not having one. Of course if you get to an age where you can't have your own baby, you could always adopt. That is just what I think.... Turn 30, and then think about it again. If you are still sitting on the fence.. then don't leave it in your hands :)